The evolving role of a homeschool mom.

 I once subscribed to the idea that my role as a homeschooler was to instill a passion for learning and that by being open and not pushing my kids that we could accomplish that goal.  I believed that all children want to learn and do their best.  I still believe parts of those things, but I have made some observations that have altered my mindset.

1. No one wants to do something that they aren’t inherently good at.  If you are putting forth a lot of effort, with no results it can be very frustrating.  Think about how you might have been trying to lose 10 pounds for the last decade, I’ve heard that can be frustrating- OK it is me and it is frustrating!  If your kid struggles in an area, he begins to shut down and then we can have big problems.
2. Everyone has a different level of frustration tolerance.  What is frustration tolerance? It is the level of challenge that begins to create frustration in a person.  Everyone is different.  If your kiddo has a low frustration tolerance, everything can be harder for you and him.
3. There are things that we must know in order to be prepared for an open ended future.  What does that mean?  Your kid doesn’t like math, but he has no idea what he wants to do.  Guess what?  He has to learn math.  Sarah says she isn’t going to ever do anything related to economics so why bother?  She will need to balance a checkbook, buy a house, and prepare for retirement some day.
4. Teenagers and tweens are not necessarily still the people/parent pleasers they were when they were younger.  Motivation has to be more than making the teacher happy or proud.

How have these observations changed my mindset?

It helps me to remember that I am helping to shape people who I want to be successful and happy as independent adults.   My role is to prepare my kids for the future they wish to pursue.  I want to provide them with the knowledge they need for a foundation to success in their future goals and endeavors.  Kids don’t always know what is best for them and just like making them eat their veggies, there might be things that are required in their education that don’t ignite their passion.  That is ok, because even the most loved job has aspects that are tedious. We all have to do things we don’t want to do sometimes.  That is a powerful life lesson. My role is to help them get through their frustration and cheer them on and tell them I know they can do it.  My role is to be honest and tell them that I know this isn’t their favorite or where their talents lie, but that is why the successful completion will be so meaningful.  I will tell them that the most important thing is that we work together to prepare them for as much as we can in the future.  My role is to remind them just like someone may have said in preschool, “Your future is so bright we have to wear shades”.